a quiet week

Dog sitting isn't anything like cat sitting. This having to take walks 3 times a day is hard work!! This whole week I fell into a routine of waking up (late), showering, take a 1-2 hours walk, come back to eat, chill for the afternoon, playing offline videogames mostly, since my internet connection is so flaky, then 6-7pm another walk, this one a bit shorter, no more than 1 hour. Then home again, to play some more. While watching the world cup if it's on. And one last quick walk before sleeping, so I don't feel bad if I sleep late ;) Their owner is dues back in only a couple of hours. In a way I'm relieved. I take the responsibility seriously, and I have been stressing over them. In another, I am going to miss them...

I tried to keep things varied by taking a different route every morning. I think I have visited every major park in a mile radius! I haven't made much human contact, so I've taken to observe the two doggies. One is an older female chihuahua mix. Almost looks like a macho chihuahua, if that was ever possible. It has scraggly hair and it's bigger than a regular rat... but, alas, while it doesn't have the huge pop-out eyes and the shakiness typical of that race, it's still as submissive as it can be. At least with humans. It takes no shit from its companion, though, a Yorkshire Terrier Mix. Much younger, only 2 yrs old, it's a little ball of energy that keeps the other one active. But has a similar submissive reaction when handled. They make an odd pair, sticking together through most things, while still being different. They're both likable. But it's easier to be happy and energetic around the little one. The older, when approached, will just put her head down to be petted, looking completely surrendered. And won't play, letting the little one take the toys. She plays and becomes confident only when the little one nips at her and provokes her. Then she switches personality, becoming just as energetic for a couple of minutes. And I feel sorry for her. She looks at you with sad eyes, wanting attention, but just sitting in her corner until you go up to her...

Then I think about people. We all have different personalities, too. Some people are more shy, some are more energetic and care-free. Throughout my life I kept being told by my peers that I was too serious, too quiet, I had to be more energetic, fun, outgoing... I always had to strive to be more, better, different. The world, after all, belongs to the ambitious ones, the confident ones, the ones that push themselves out there. And I did try, being proud of myself every time I broke through my lack of confidence and accomplished something that labeled me as cool, fun, with personality, with style... But feeling bad every time I didn't manage to do so, and I was just plain me. Where do you draw the line between being ambitious, bettering yourself, and accepting who you are?

What makes for different personalities? Where is confidence? How much of it is learned, and how much is what you're born with? What is different in the brain? Does it all come back to chemicals? We take drugs to alter ourselves, often losing our inhibitions, gaining confidence, or, rather, loosing fear and care of consequences... the world becomes acceptable for a little while. Life is good. Medicine is hard at work to alter the nature of the human body.

I keep coming back to the idea of human beings being just a random flow of chemicals...

And it's all, always, random.

Random, random, random.

And, yeah, Italy is in the finals. *\^o^/*